Light Blue and Light Green

My son was in fourth grade when he asked me for a phone. This was fourteen years ago so not every child had a phone… yet.

I told him he didn’t need one. Yes, the walk home from school with his little brother was a mile long but if they needed me, they could use the house phone. (For those of you not born in the 1900s, the “house phone” was an actual telephone plugged into a wall.) 

“But all my friends have a phone!” he whined. 

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll get you a flip phone.”

My son glowered and mumbled, “Never mind.”

My partner and I have always prided ourselves on not succumbing to the latest trends. Our kids didn’t get screen time during the week and didn’t miss it. They were too busy playing with each other, with their toys, and with the kids in the cul de sac. They didn’t get smartphones until well into high school when we were sure they weren’t addicted to those little screens. Even now, we’re not on our phones when we eat meals or go out to dinner. 

I have a love/hate relationship with my smartphone. Why have we invented a device to make us available to everyone every minute of the day? Why have we invented social media so we can feel lonely even with thousands of friends, er, followers? 

I can get a lot of work done, send pictures and messages to friends and family without printing out pictures and dropping them in the mail, and I can let everyone know what I’m having for dinner in minutes. 

But at what cost?

Social media wars without actual discourse, without action. The pressure of having to reply to comments and react to other people’s comments. Feeling like you missed a conversation when coworkers reference a post that went viral the day before. 

It was all a bit much.

I knew I had to make changes. Getting news from a variety of news outlets, not social media. Connecting with people in real life with face to face conversations or calling a friend. Limiting social media to checking once a week instead of before bed and when I wake up.

My mind was calmer but something still itched in my brain. 

I looked at the calendar on my phone and was not surprised to see a meeting or two every day. Family events. Union business. Weekend conferences. 

I noticed that I was obviously busy, but with what?

I decided to color code everything on my calendar. I used red for union events, meetings, and conferences. I used dark blue for work meetings and professional development. I used light blue for family stuff like school plays and birthdays. I used light green for writing events and Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrator meetings and conferences. I even went as far back to January so I could see what I was prioritizing. 

I saw the problem immediately. There wasn’t enough light blue. There wasn’t enough light green. The two most important things in my life weren’t in my life. They weren’t in my calendar. 

I reevaluated our time as a family. What could we add? What could we do differently? We went out for ice cream after dinner last night. Next Saturday, we’ll pick up Grandma and head to the farmer’s market in downtown Sacramento. The now-young-adult kids will be taking turns making dinner (or going to a drive through). We don’t need big vacations. We need frequent check-ins.

I knew I needed more light green. I always need more light green, but how? I did the following steps and they are not for the faint of heart, especially not in a two week period.

1 - I took on more responsibility with our SCBWI chapter and will now hold the position of Co-Regional Advisor with wildly talented illustrator/author Merry Miller-Gass. Our first newsletter comes out in two weeks and our first regional membership meeting is in three weeks. 

2 - I applied for and got accepted to the Children’s Illustrator Certificate Program with University of California, San Diego Extension. I signed up for three summer classes.

3 - I started a writer's website on Wix and Instagram. 

Is this a bit much? Yes. 

Do I have regrets? Ask me in a month. 

Fourteen years after the flip phone conversation, my son has a smartphone to answer emails, build his client base, and maintain social media accounts to attract more clients. He has a lot of advice on how to maintain my writer’s website.

To which I glower and mumble, “Never mind.”